Your problem is obviously a mental one. It seems that you must have to be 'in love' or similar in a Western Mind Set to go that far. Break away from those old christian moralists and take the pleasure. If you've got as far to being naked and about to fuck, then why won't you let go completely and enjoy. Many men thrive on giving oral because they want you to fully enjoy and to orgasm first. Those men that won't go down on you are the old school misogynists, selfish and only after their own dominance, not your enjoyment.
If you reacted that way to me I would feel hurt, and even a little suspicious that you may have an STD or something.