Wendy, I sympathise because you haven't managed to throw off those old sub-conscious blocks that us westerners have about sex.

When you want it, go out and get it girl, don't let those hang-ups affect you.

All that candy-floss vision of love that gets thrown at us, conditions us all. As a man I used to be like that also. Until I worked in Asia, then I had it explained to me that sex is a necessary body function, purely and simply. It might sound base or hard, but it is true. Over there, the women tell the man, they still have to have some sort of feeling or attraction, so what is wrong with that.

I had a woman in Malaysia who was a good friend asked me when I would make an early visit, and I was taken aback because she was in her fifties, so I queried whether she was sure and it wouldn't affect our friendship, her answer was quite simply "I get old now, don't get so much interest."

Another one just outright said, let's have dinner and go to your room for 2 days and enjoy each other." She was a professor at a university, very self-confident and her attitude was very much life is too short.

Enjoy yourself, if the sex or the guy isn't good enough, just put it down to that, they didn't deserve a confident woman like yourself. You'll get so much respect not condemnation.