Thanks for the laughs, I can probably relate to most of those. The furniture one always brings a smile.

While on an adulterous tryst with a long time lover, we stayed in a newly renovated designer hotel in Edinburgh. While banging away very exuberantly in doggy fashion, I grabbed the headboard to stop the backward slide, and ripped it out of the plasterboard wall!!! Then our after lunch sex turned into a hunt for a hardware store that was open and where I could buy the tools, timber and larger plugs etc. Then had to do a 'bodge it and scarper" job of replacement.

We prayed over the next few days that the room maids never looked too carefully or leaned on the headboard, while we changed and got more creative about using the doggy position.

Because our meets were always following the others business trips and getting back together after a long break, the sex was rather exuberant and we wrecked the odd hotel room in some form or another over a six year affair.

In another encounter, another lover broke my nose grinding whilst face sitting on me, and I had to invent a story for how that happened.

Other instances of "Pussy Farts" always amuse and other times some non-period bleeding from too enthusiastic thrusting, mixed with the whole messy sheets thing has even meant washing the sheets at a launderette away from the hotel !

We certainly enjoyed the rides though.