Most of us have some form of unconscious bias. As for racism, it was about 20 years back when while working as an ex-pat in Dubai I had a Nigerian GF who moved in with me. We were taking a big risk out there anyhow, being unmarried and against the Islamic laws of that country. That side of life out there I always treated as stupid and ignored, but there was one small incident between us that opened my eyes to how we all grow up with some old influences and biases.

We were just playing as lovers do whilst watching a movie, kissing, etc. and she started tickling me and trying to wind me up when I blurted out laughing "get off me you little monkey!" It was a phrase my parents often said to my brother and I, and I had never seen the connotations behind it. She stopped, then looked at me, not in hurt, she knew my innocence, and stated thoughtfully, "That is what the big white Bwanas used to call us in Nigeria." I guess referring to some old colonials.

I was mortified, and upset with myself apologized profusely, and since that day have always had that in my mind if ever I get close to blurting some old childhood phrase when out with people.

She forgave me, we made love beautifully and it has been a lesson remembered ever since.