I know exactly where you are coming from, for it has been the same with me. In my later years also from about mid fifties onwards even to now at 73.

I studied it, learnt how to use it in Tantra, in Taoist principles and meditation, along with Pranic Healing, non-touch massage as part of a divine experience.

I use some of those experiences in my novels for my characters in my "Dream Team's Face series" and onwards in my erotic romances.

I only wish I could now get a sponsor to get me out of the UK and back to Asia or another country with less western judgemental hang-ups.

www.brianandbyron.com/books